Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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