I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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