Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
