You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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