I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The beer is more important than you right now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
