I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
