The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize