Duck Duck Cougar?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
