dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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