Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
