Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
