First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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