Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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