they need to just BURY HIM!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
