I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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