you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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