hell yes lets make some ravioli
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
