yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
