You really coming over, don't trick.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
