Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
