Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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