It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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