It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
