I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize