He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
