My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize