You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
