forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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