i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
