The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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