did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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