you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize