so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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