hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
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My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize