I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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