Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
