i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
