I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize