I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
