I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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