the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize