K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
