I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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