2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
