I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
