We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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