i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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