I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
