and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
