I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You made out with two different species that night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
