i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
