it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
