I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
