Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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