Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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