i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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