I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come share oat with me in your robe
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
