I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
